Atmosphere is an essential part of reading and writing, because it is a catalyst for all of the feelings that a reader will experience throughout a book or story. There are not many books that are devoid of atmosphere, and if there are–they are probably experimental in nature. However, atmosphere is hard to avoid as it can be a subconscious effort from a writer who is scribing specific experiences from their life or the fictitious lives of their characters. In this post, we are going to discuss the idea of establishing “atmosphere” in stories.

Defining Atmosphere in Stories

In defining atmosphere in texts, Merriam-Webster states that “atmosphere” is a “surrounding influence or environment,” and, “the overall aesthetic effect of a work of art.” Additionally, it is stated that “atmosphere” is “an intriguing or singular tone, effect, or appeal” in a given piece of writing. Combining these ideas, we can see that atmosphere is like the coat a story wears to give off some impression. Gloomy coats give off gloomy feelings, while sunny coats give off sunny feelings.

Another way to view “atmosphere” is through the mood an author establishes in a story. Mood, in this instance, refers to how the reader feels when they are reading a story. For example, when reading a horror story, you might feel scared, anxious, or apprehensive about what is to come next. Specifically, these two words (mood and atmosphere) are interested in describing two important aspects of writing: the micro-feeling of words (angry and worried), and the macro-feeling of description (creepy or strange). Mood and atmosphere can be attained in longer works and short passages.

Identifying Atmosphere in Fiction

The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury

In The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury, we have a “nostalgic” atmosphere that appeals to Bradbury’s youth and memories of Halloween night. The story tells of a group of boys who venture with a mysterious man named Moonshroud on Halloween night to save their friend Pip. The story uses an overtly “sensory-driven” atmosphere, as Bradbury’s poetic style fixes on the reader’s senses to overdrive the narrative in imagery.

Example #1: “Eight boys made a series of beautiful leaps over flowerpots, rails, dead ferns, bushes, landing on their own dry-starched front lawns. Galloping, rushing, they seized a final sheet, adjusted a last mask, tugged at strange mushroom caps or wigs, shouting at the way the wind took them along, helped their running; glad of the wind, or cursing boy curses as masks fell off or hung sidewise or stuffed up their noses with a muslin smell like a dogs hot breath. Or just letting the sheer exhilaration of being alive and out on this night pull their lungs and shape their throats into a yell and a yell and a … yeeeellll!”

Bradbury states that there is a frantic sort of energy amongst the boys. The energy is both frantic and exciting. It is happy. Who doesn’t have this memory of Halloween? The feeling is there but at a much larger level than say, “happy” or “joyous,” which is more definitive of mood.

In examining this excerpt for atmosphere, let’s dial into the “nostalgic” part of the piece. Bradbury takes us through the motions of boys hooting through the spookiest night of the year. If we use our previous simile in that atmosphere is like a coat on a story, then we are looking at a sentimental view of boyhood.

The “sensory” portion of our atmospheric analysis can be pulled from the same excerpt. For example, “dead ferns” references our visual senses, because we can see that in our mind’s eye.

Bradbury finishes the description with “letting the sheer exhilaration of being alive and out on this night pull their lungs and shape their throats into a yell and a yell and a … yeeeellll!” Our auditory senses are pulled toward the enthusiastic scream of the boys. Enthusiasm, in this case, being descriptive of mood, while the sensory feeling of description is the overall atmosphere. Bradbury’s The Halloween Tree is replete with nostalgia and sensory descriptions, which is actually quite apparent in many of his best novels.

“An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” by Ambrose Bierce

In “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” by Ambrose Bierce, the author creates an atmosphere of unmitigated tension. The main character, Peyton Farquhar, stands at the precipice of death. Union soldiers intend to hang him for attempting to burn the Owl Creek Bridge. Peyton hangs in the balance of life and death.

Example #2: “He closed his eyes in order to fix his last thoughts upon his wife and children. The water, touched to gold by the early sun, the brooding mists under the banks at some distance down the stream, the fort, the soldiers, the piece of drift–all had distracted him … Striking through the thought of his dear ones was a sound which he could neither ignore nor understand, a sharp, distinct, metallic percussion like the stroke of a blacksmith’s hammer upon the anvil; it had the same ringing quality … The intervals of silence grew progressively longer; the delays became maddening. With their greater infrequency the sounds increased in strength and sharpness. They hurt his ear like the thrust of a knife; he feared he would shriek. What he heard was the ticking of his watch.”

How could we describe the atmosphere here other than tense? But, what words and ideas show the reader this tension? For starters, Ambrose Bierce uses the idea of his wife and children as his guiding light. This is a sympathetic trait that Peyton hangs onto, even in death. The reader feels for Peyton, therefore the reader feels the tension of his awaiting execution.

But what about words? For one, the “brooding mists” is a rather foreboding description of fog on the water. There are many ways to describe a misty morning; however, a “brooding” mist goes hand in hand with Peyton’s fate. Furthermore, “a sharp, distinct, metallic percussion” that turns out to be his watch is a noise that many readers know as something irritable and annoying. To stand at the lip of death and hear the small, metal noise of a watch hand may in fact be torture; as such, it is a bit of clever tension on Bierce’s part.

Tips for Writing Atmosphere

Post-Process Atmosphere

One tip in tracking atmosphere or even implementing it in your own writing, is to treat atmosphere as a post-writing/reading consideration. What did the book feel like across the whole body of the work? What feelings did you experience the most, and what word comes to mind that describes all of those emotions? After you have answered these questions, you can begin going back through the text and sprinkling in your atmosphere.

Putting Atmosphere to Work

Read the following example before we add atmosphere.

Example #3 (without atmosphere): The doctor jogged down the sidewalk. The mist hanging around the fields normally caught her eye, but she could not shake the sound in her head. Like a hammer, it repeated with precise timing; once every second it fell. She rounded the pond in the park, and suddenly realized that the sound existed only in her head. Her heart beat in simple rhythms.

Example #3 (with atmosphere): The doctor jogged down the cracked sidewalk early in the morning. The ghostly mist hanging around the far dead fields normally caught her eye, but she could not shake the sound in her head. tink, tink, tink, tink. Like a small, rusty hammer, it hit again and again with precise, off-kilter timing; once every second it fell and then lagged. She rounded the green, aging pond, and suddenly realized that the rusty tink sound existed only in her head. It was her heart, beating over and over and over, in the simple rhythms of a funeral procession.

In the above example, I added more description to show the doctor’s morning jog both literally and figuratively. The updated example should show an older doctor, and the atmosphere of dying, death, and decay. Morbid, yes, but perhaps necessary for this story. Changing the jog to “early in the morning” and tying it to “ghostly” mist give an air of silence and mortality. Meanwhile, adding onomatopoeia (tink, tink, tink, tink) creates repetition, which ratchets up tension. Furthermore, descriptions such as “off-kilter” and “and then lagged” create off-rhythm swells of the doctor’s jogging, making it unnatural. Finally, the “simple rhythms of a funeral procession” may indicate the doctor’s demise.

Conclusion

The atmosphere of a text describes the larger picture of a work of narrative. It steers us in a larger direction rather than touching on our lesser feelings, such as horror, happiness, and anger. The atmosphere of a novel can be elusive, as a reader has to take the whole of the text into consideration. However, as seen in the above examples, atmosphere can be established fairly quickly.

In this way, you need to identify the atmosphere itself. If you are writing a noir mystery, you might want to add more smoky rooms and shadows. If it’s a romance story, adding more fluffy language may better mold your story to the genre. An autumn afternoon with a group of excited children would be joyous and exalted. But, if you want the subtle darkness of Halloween, you may want to add words such as “dead” and “decay.” At the same time, when employing tension, using clever bits of irritation or choice words may suit you well.

Overall, consider your descriptions. What are you adding to each sentence to bring out a feeling? And is it adding to the meaning of your story?